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Articles
Godly Parenting
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;... ” Psalm 127:1
Success or failure hangs in the balance. You can work really hard and have a lot of great intentions for your family, but if you are not doing things God’s way, then you will not be successful. So what is it God expects from godly parents? Very simply, God expects parents to train their children. Thankfully, He has told us how to train them within the pages of His word.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
There is a right way and a wrong way to train children. Ephesians 6:4 says children should be brought up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two terms, discipline and instruction, help paint a picture of the type of training required in godly parenting. The second word, “instruction” is a little more straightforward. It means admonition, or a warning. It’s the idea of reasoning with someone about the consequences of certain actions.
The second term, “discipline” is a little more complex. The Greek word for “discipline” means both training and discipline. While those words are connected, we use them quite differently today. In fact, a major problem with parenting today is a misunderstanding of the difference between training and discipline. Training is proactively teaching a child to do (or not do) something. Discipline (as we tend to use the term today) is reactively responding when a child disobeys. Both ideas are included in the term used for “discipline” in Ephesians 6:4. The problem many well-intentioned parents run into is they fail to train effectively, and they only discipline when a child does something wrong. Discipline is good and necessary, but discipline without instruction is a failure to train properly.
Consider the following Proverbs and what they suggest about godly parenting.
Proverbs 29:15 & 17 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother… 17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul.
The combination of the “rod and reproof” are consistent with the ideas of “discipline and instruction” mentioned in Ephesians 6:4. Correction that involves both a tangible consequence and a verbal rebuke are essential aspects of godly parenting. Verse 19 encourages us that the end result of such training will be worthwhile.
Proverbs 3:12 “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights."
Correcting your child is an act of love. It’s also important to keep in mind, correcting your child does not necessarily mean they are in trouble. When a baby reaches for something he should not have and you gently swat their hand and say “no,” they are not in trouble, but that correction is necessary in order for the child to learn.
Proverbs 13:24 “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”
Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”
There is an element of urgency to discipline. Discipline needs to take place soon after the child’s offense. Discipline becomes more difficult as children grow up. It’s easier to correct an unruly 4 year old than an unruly 14 year old.
Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”
Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. 14 You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.
There is a reason and purpose to training and discipline. Parents should never discipline because we are frustrated or upset. We train and discipline our children because we love them and we want to teach them to obey. When our children learn to obey their parents, they are being prepared to learn to obey God.
Psalm 127:3 says “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Godly parenting starts with appreciating your children as gifts given from God. That appreciation leads us to taking responsibility to train our children according to God’s instruction. The Bible does not tell us exactly what to do in every scenario with our children, but it does give us the principles to be faithful in our duties as godly parents.
