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Guilt and Forgiveness
“When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.” Psalms 32:3
Our verse today, coming from one of David’s penitent Psalms, was likely written after he received forgiveness for the sins committed with the adultery and coverup and murder as a result of his sin with Bathsheba. Nearly a year passed with nothing from the lips and heart of David. The prophet Nathan was sent to rebuke the king. And, the broken and sorrowful David sought forgiveness from the Lord.
This chapter opens with the wonderful words, “How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!” Indeed. Forgiveness is sweet. It is not expected, or something someone has to extend. Forgiveness is encased in love, grace and choice.
Within this context and reflection about forgiveness, David looks back through that dark and lonely journey. It is here where our verse is found. Before the forgiveness. Before the confrontation with the prophet. Before the tears of sorrow. David kept silent. He kept it a secret. Out of sight and out of mind didn’t work here. In David’s secret and silence, guilt was eating him alive. Our verse says, “my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.” A few verses later, he admitted, “My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.”
And, with this comes an important lesson for us about secret sins and guilt.
First, God gives us the emotion and feeling of guilt for a reason. We are not expected to move to Guilt Street, but having guilt shows that our conscience is still working. When one does wrong and never feels bad about that, a deadened conscience will not help him.
Guilt reminds us that we were wrong. We know it. We shouldn’t have said what we said. We shouldn’t have done what we did. If we could go back and do things over, we’d do things differently. That’s the upside of guilt. In Acts we find the expressions of a “pricked heart,” and, “cut to the quick.” Today, we’d say, “The preacher stepped on my feet in his sermon.”
Guilt is a miserable place to be. One hopes that no one else will find out about the wrong that he did. The guilty wants the secret to stay a secret. But, we know the Lord knows. And, as with David keeping his sin secret, when we do that, it plagues our mind and spirit. For David, his body “wasted away.” For us, we lose our appetite. We have trouble sleeping at night. We feel ashamed to pray. We don’t feel worthy to be around others worshipping God.
I met a young man like this several years ago. He was active, vibrant, happy and full of energy. It was hard to keep up with him. But, one day, everything seemed different. He no longer smiled. He stood in a corner and wasn’t around others. He was just off. He wasn’t himself. I noticed. We got together to talk. First, he said it was nothing. He hadn’t been feeling well. More into the conversation, he said he wasn’t getting much out of worship anymore. He didn’t like this about the church and he didn’t like that about the church. He wouldn’t look at me. He kept looking at the floor. Out of the blue I asked him, “Have you been unfaithful to your wife?” He immediately looked at me with wide eyes and the look of horror on his face. Then he broke down and cried and confessed. It was a long journey, but grace, love and forgiveness saved that marriage.
If guilt doesn’t lead to change, it will eat us up. Peter wept bitterly. Judas hung himself. Guilt.
Second, rather than dealing with the wrong and the guilt that comes with it, some try to manufacture ways to make wrong seem right. They have a ready excuse they pull out of their pockets. They point the fingers at everyone except themselves. And, through that process, guilt is suppressed, changed and wrong justified and nothing good or positive comes from any of that. Wrong will continue.
This is one reason why many do not want to hear sermons. They don’t want to be reminded. They don’t want to know that they need to change. They don’t want to deal with guilt. So, they dance through life, doing whatever they feel like, not giving any thought that God is wanting them to be close to Him. Many are using the expression, “I want a relationship with Jesus. I don’t want religion.” Jesus without guilt. Jesus without rules. Jesus without many expectations. Jesus that lets me do what I want to do. Jesus that is cool with me worshipping in my own way. Relationship without religion is nothing more than selfishness. It’s being ok with sin. It’s running as far away from guilt as possible. And, it results in a life that looks nothing like the Bible.
Third, the quicker and more honest I am about my sin to God, the better I will feel and the better my relationship with the Lord will become. He already knows. There is nothing you do that shocks God. The Lord will never say, “Wow, I didn’t know that.” He knows. Hiding our sin and keeping it secret, not only tears us up on the inside, ruins our relationship with the Lord, but the sin doesn’t go away. Sins do not just go away. There is no statute of limitations on sin. Move and the sin moves with you. Switch congregations and the sin switches with you. You can bury yourself in doing great deeds, but the sin remains. God’s justice is not a giant balance or scales. As long as there are more good than bad, we’ll be ok, some believe. That concept is based upon salvation by works, not faith and grace.
As one scrolls through Psalm 32, we see the refreshing and uplifting spirit of David. Forgiveness came and how glad he was. I expect he wondered why he waited so long. Why did he keep holding on to those sins? And, couldn’t the same thing be said of us? Why don’t we seek the Lord in confession? Why don’t we seek the forgiveness? Some may feel that they no longer deserve it. And, you don’t. Some may fear messing up again. And, you might. Some will think that they are not good enough. And, you are not. Forgiveness is not based upon us, but the Lord. He extends His grace to those who diligently seek Him. Be honest. Be transparent. Be humble.
The gift of forgiveness is a wonderful, wonderful treasure from the Lord. He shows how much He believes in you. Now, do you believe in Him?
Guilt or forgiveness…which will it be for you?
